So many things to write in this blog and then I censor myself. It's not fun, but it's necessary. [Otherwise...the angel disapears]

Crisis
This week I will be finding out if Upward Bound is funded and if I'll be going back to work on staff in Alaska this summer. Cross your fingers for the program. I just can't even imagine what will happen if Upward Bound does not go on. All the hundreds of thousands of kids who will be displaced, left out, and saddened--I think I will cry if that happens--I really can't imagine the program stopping. It was such an essential part of my college-prep experience. Of developing who I am today and where I am today. Of summer schoool, social networks, realizing passions, exploring, responsibility, learning, SAT prep, html/webpage design, Scholarship help, realizing the possibilities, setting goals, essay critiqueing, mentoring, my first true full blown completly emotional crush (I miss you so much Mark), lifelong friendships, and most of all growing up. Would I be here at the UofC without Upward Bound?? It's doubtful.

It's not the same anymore. Friends and relationships. What's real, and who cares. Is this the way life really is? Was I decieved before? Or will it change back?--I hope it does. Please make eye contact, smile and a nod of awknowledgement--that's a start, but there's so much more to be accomplished.

I miss: you right now only one mile away, the bluebird sticker, windblown smiles, Portland, the network of the community, ferns, the Spotted Owl family in my yard, innocence, confidence, holding hands, and most of all--genuine care.