Friday, May 03, 2002

I worry too much. Have too much to say too little time to type and so many thoughts to spill onto my weblog. and then i hesitate, because in the future will i really want to have all this online for the whole world to read, but then i hesitate because i feel so dumb censoring myself. i guess i will just omit names, and make this a little anonymous/ambigous. but there are certain things heavy on my mind right now.

i miss home. so much. and this doesn’t seem like it has any connection, but i was crying missing home while watching the shawshank redemption for the first time tonight. it was such a good movie. maybe it was the comraderie of the people. or the sense of belonging to a community. i miss my neighborhood. i miss my city. i miss my land. i miss home. i know, it's completely screwed up that i'm comparing myself to a completely screwed up subject of a movie (prison and murderers), and not making any sense or doing well at this at all. i'm sure that those of you reading this can't see my meaning. reading this a couple of times even i don't know really how to start or express my thoughts. or why this movie really makes me so pondering of home. maybe i am making myself sound like a lunatic or something.... i can't really explain it. brooks. i fell in love with the guy. i don't know. the elderly just have a special place in my heart. and it made me really really really miss some friends (80 and 90 year old friends) from home. talking to them. reminiscing on thier past, thier childhood. telling them about my life. sharing experiences and differences. i just miss the lack of interaction between age groups here at college. there isn't any. unless of course you count the few conversations you have with your professors. and occasionally some at church. but other than that you're stuck here with all the other 20-something year old "kids". it just doesn't feel right.

today was national day of prayer.

today was Dierdre's amazing cello performance that i went to see at Fulton recital hall this afternoon.

today was also one of the greatest soc classes ever. For my soc, Democracy and Social Science we are studying health and democracy, at various levels. This week we've been discussing stem cell reserach, particularly embroyonic, which becomes a heated debate, although I think I might be the only person in the classroom thoroughly opposed to the issue. but today we had a guest lecturer. A Phd holder from Yale in neurobiology, who is now a Catholic priest. I wish i could tell you his name but I don't remember at the moment. He was a great speaker, started talking about the biology behind stem cell reseach, IVF, cloning and a few other things, and then pranced into the ethical and moral issues. he actually didn't get to finish his talk though because we had sooo many questions for him during the middle. i was very very disapointed 1.) that i was dumb and didn't tape record him 2.) that i couldn't stay after and talk wiht him cuz i had to run to spanish lector session and 3.) because his most important points were at the end and we didn't even get to hear his conclusion. but nonetheless i was thoroughly impressed. he came in his priest outfit (is there a special word for that?) wearing his color, and along with him a cell phone and computer wiht powerpoint with a little remote control that was oh so cool. classmates thought that it was rather amusing. he was so knowledgeable, answered every question extremely well, and seemed to care particularly that we understand the subject and especially the ethics that the science invaded. i wish he could have spoken for another couple of hours!!!

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