I wish I could look forward to physics labs.

It was an itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny-yellow-polka-dot-bikini, that she wore for the first time today. Do songs from childhood sometime pop randomly into your head? That one I remember distinctly from elementary school. At my cabin near Mosier, Oregon. Log cabin you have to hike to, no electricity, no running water except from a nearby spring. So sometimes at night we had this battery operated radio that my dad would turn on. And one of the only stations that we were able to receive clearly was the oldies station from The Dalles. And we'd dance around to the music on the creaky wood floor in front of our fire. Those were the good old days. ;o)

In this dorm I am constantly suffocating in smoke.

A free and virtuous society, which America aspires to be, must reject practices that devalue and violate human life at any stage from conception until natural death. In defending the right to life, in law and through a vibrant culture of life, America can show the world the path to a truly humane future in which man remains the master, not the product, of his technology. -Pope John Paul II to President Bush

My body craves sleep, even if I have already slept for over 5 hours the night before it just keeps begging for a nap. So I let in. And end up sleeping 59 minutes past my alarm, one more and the music would have stopped and I would have drifted back off into peaceful slumber until who-knows-when. This is, of course, no good for my studying.

This morning I went to a Lutheran Church for the first time: Augustana, right across the street from Pierce. I attended with Hannah and her best friend Karen, who was visiting from Wheaton. Afterwords we headed to the Original Pancake House for brunch. :o) It was a nice morning.

Today I went to the Indiana Dunes to go "hiking" (read: walking around on a very well-marked and wide trail with 14 other people with umbrellas). It was raining the entire time, which made the trip of expected 45 deminished to about 16 who actually came. The busride was long ~1 hour. But it was cool cuz I met this really amazing girl from Ancorage, AK who is now a first-year here at the UofC, although she took a year off to travel around South America. I hope I get a chance to hang out with her more in the future.

It's so strange seeing the world through a schoolbus. Such a different perspective. Big seats, walled off from others, foggy little windows which you wipe off so you can peer out of a little circle, with streams of water making patterns on the glass. You feel so small, so apart from the world. Such an outsider.

The Dunes were cool, I guess. It was softly raining the whole time we were there. I have missed the sound and feel of the rain on the trees, on my face, on the water. It felt *so good* I cannot put it to words. I just can't help but praise God for nature, for the rain, for the beauty of the earth, even in the midwest. ;o)

Dinner was with the E.C.O. Club with the free vegan Indian dinner. Yum. But there was this speaker that came who was completely full of it. He made me angry. If he had looked at me through his talk he would have seen a strern frown permanently on my face throughout his rediculous talk. He did make some good points about the connection between veganism and vegetarianism and its impact on the environment, but he also made some dumb comments that were just unbelieveable that made me discredit anything out of his lips. It was a sad end to a good dinner.

Coming back to my dorm room, I noticed that Theresa, Amy, Anthony, Claire, and Sunmi were all online! So we went into a chatroom and talked for a while. It was an electronic reunion, and felt *sooooooo good* to talk to them all again, and I had talked to Jordan earlier in the day. Did I mention how much I miss friends from home? I almost cried.

My lovely night came to an end by walking over in the middle of a giant thunderstorm to Parker's Apt. to celebrate Jen's birthday. The gang had gone to K-town (Korean town, which I never even knew existed until 2 days ago!) for dinner, but I wasn't able to go because of the eco dinner, so I decided to join them for a little after-party. A little chattin, a little Gladiator watchin, a very very few satisfying hugs from/givento Parker, and a little picture takin action with Ruthie and Parker's webcamera. Maybe when I figure out how to post them I'll put some on this weblog. And, as a humorous good-bye present Parker decides to play my "favorite song", Wasn't Me. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I was afraid that it would be stuck in my head forever after that. But luckily I had a pleasant walk in the rain all the way back to the dorm, and even passed one gentleman carrying his shoes in one hand. I looked down and realized he was walking around barefoot feeling the water on his toes. It made me smile. Well, for now, I must sleep. So tired. (but what's new?).

Readin bout stem cells tonight. See Stem Cells: A Primer for more info. What's your stance on this issue? My soc class is sooooo interesting this quarter. I love it. We read so many substantial articles about important health problems, policies, data, and opinions. Thursday we read about physician-assisted suicide and next tuesday is the debate about using stem cells. One of the articles I'm reading for tuesday is particularly interesting: The Ethics of Funding Embryonic Stem Cell Research: A Catholic Viewpoint.

I miss home.

Nicole is returning to Portland for the summer and so is Claire!
*¡Iamallsmiles!*

Also, I had two amazing prospies last night (prospective students). One, Talia, from New Jersey, and another, Heather from Portland! They were both two sweet girls that I thoroughly enjoyed hosting and staying up til 5am to talk, despite the fact that I had a spanish midterm this morning at nine and still hadn't finished my physics problem set. They even left me a little note and cute soap from Nordstrom's as a thank-you gift that I found when I returned back from my stressful day. So nice. It definitely cheered me up, along with talking to Paul and Nicole and a package from Michael. :o) Time for another nap *yawn*, I am really exhausted....only have a few minutes before dinner and then going to InterVarsity Christian Fellowship with Mr. Parker Seybold.

One Mile: 7:38 I improved by 23 seconds from 4 weeks ago. hurrah.

This quarter one of my goals has been to read up on things that I usually don’t have time for. I am spending some time reading on bioethical choices. I am focusing on pro-life issues, which include stem-cell research. In recent current events President Bush just agreed to federal funding of stem-cell research on previously destroyed embryos. “Bush’s order likely will confine research to embryos that have already been destroyed but were created as part of fertility treatment, preventing the creation of embryos solely for research.” Ask me how I feel about this and I’ll tell you: I don’t know. I believe that human life is sacred, it is a gift from God and should not be taken advantage of, it should not be viewed as just another aspect of biology to test and fool around with. We are fully God’s creation and are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139, see a blog below) from the womb (Isaiah 44:24). God knit us together in our mother’s womb, he saw us before our body was formed. *smile*

Running two miles this morning and eating healthy all day long, I was so proud of myself trying to be "healthy" and then Sudeep had to go and offer me Nutter Butters. Such a weakness, at leat 6 of them found their way to my stomach. Yum. ;o) So tonight I spent 3 hours doing the GeoUnion budget allocations for next year. I put in a request to have a "field record fund", which is specifically designed to visually record observed field specimens and geologic features. Aka, I wanted to get the club money to buy 9 disposable cameras, 12 rolls of film, and processing for it all. :o) Let's hope the committee lets us have it. The sad part of my week is that I've definitely spent at least twice as much time on club/activity businesses (distributed between E.C.O., the Lighting Coalition, GeoUnion, Women In Science, ScavHunt, ProLife, and the Native American Student Association) than on any homework or studying.

Lost my inhaler somewhere in the mess of my room. But I finished the two miles in 16:57, or something close to that. And the one mile mark was 8:37. Not terrible, but definitely not great....

I want to:
*Get much more sleep
*Have an unlimited supply of candycanes
*Become an expert self-taught webdesigner
*Have a mentor in Chicago
*Spend time caring for other people, and less on myself
*Solve the energy crisis
*Go to bed happy and content (not stressed)
*Spend more time on my studies
*Become an expert of photography
*Be able to take off hiking or to the beach at any second
*Have a good memory for once
*Write many more letters
*Spend an equal amount of time studying the Bible as I do on homework
*Increase my vocabulary and communication skills
*Run a marathon
*Be on staff at Outdoor School
*Follow in my grampa's footprints
*Laugh...much more
*Have People know that I care about them without me speaking a word
*Bring a smile to someone's face

So I just got an email that the UofC Republicans are teaming up with the Liberatarians for a "gun outing" this Saturday. Ridiculous. But no more ridiculous than the weather that Chicago has been having. It's in the 30's and "feels like" below thirty degrees according to weather.com HAPPY EARTH DAY EVERYONE! I'm so stressed about everything, there's so many activities to plan this week and so many club meetings. Why do I have to be so involved. ;o) Off to a Women&Science Meeting to be on the "executive board", though I don't know if I want to be. I'm the only undergrad in the club that I know of..it's mostly for graduate students and postdocs. So I sent off another application for a summer job. I'm applying to work with Portland Parks & Recreation. I think it would be an awesome job if I get it, but I think that I'm pretty late in applying....gotta keep my fingers crossed. A happy point of anoche was talking to my second set of parents: Lori&Scott. It was great to talk to them again.....I just called to talk and say hi, but at first they were scared that I was going to tell them something bad about Nicole...it was kinda funny. I love you Nick.

I miss Paul

Dirt on my hands. My hair blowing in the wind. Worms on my fingers. Trees, smiling people. This morning I helped plant trees and mulch at Nichols Park (2 blocks from my dorm, located right next to my church). It was such a good feeling to be celebrating Earth Day with a bunch of cool people and just to help the neighborhood and the city a bit. Parker, Sapna, and Justin also helped out. There were only two wheelbarrows and we obviously needed more so my newly aquainted friend Michael "I'm five and a half, and I'm in preschool" let me borrow his red RadioFlyer wagon to transport the trees and mulch. After talking and playing with him a while he declared me "Queen of the Trees", and Parker was "King of the Wheelbarrow". It was quite cute. So after working for a while we met up at Arline's Coop with Arline,her bro Seth and David. Green line to Conservatory and I was back to the Chiluly exhibit for a second trip. It was amazing all over again! But for now I must go meet Ruthie and Tal at Noodles Etc for dinner....so I will have to post more later. :o)

From 88 degrees yesterday dipping back into the 50's tonight with lightening and thunder and a HUGE storm! Fun for Ronald and I to walk back to Pierce from Erin's apartment, weaving our way through the giant worms on the sidewalk, and around large puddles after we watched "So I Married an Axe Murderer". That movie has so many quotable lines, and my friends have been doing them for year...now I finally know where the come from! ;o) Previous to the movie, after the InterVarsity Christian Fellowship potluck tonight we made a brief appearance at Rochefeller chapel to listen to Sudeep's solo. Turns out that we appeared about 2 minutes late, so instead we went in without paying and then illegally walked up to the two upper balconies in the back and peaked out at the performers. Then we found this long hallway which runs parallel to the sanctuary which was very dusty and usually locked. We sneaked our way in and walked down until we were almost to the front of the church. I felt like I was 5 again playing sardines at Mt. Tabor Presbyterian Church. Well, happy Earth Day weekend everyone. I must be going to bed soon....I'm getting up early to go plant trees at the park by my church, and then off to the Conservatory to see the Chiluly glass exhibit (for the second time) with Arline, her bro Seth, Paul B. and Parker. Fun times. :o)

O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in--behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say "Surely the darkness will hid me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. -Psalm 139:1-18

My new goal: to start training for the Portland Marathon. You think I'm kidding? Well, maybe I am BUT I have been thinking about this for the past two weeks. And I do want to start running more. This girl Alison in my class, and who I’m also in InterVarsity Christian Fellowship with ran the Chicago Marathon this past autumn, qualified to run the Boston one, and just ran Boston on Monday. Inspiring to hear about. I’m taking a jogging course and I like it a lot. I really do enjoy running (believe it or not!), my biggest problem is just breathing right. I hate asthma...but maybe I can just get a new inhaler and start to get my lungs back in shape. But anyways....I’d still love to run a marathon someday. It is a dream, and an achievable one if I pace myself and train right. And if I start training now??! There is a 5k this Saturday in Hyde Park. I wanted to do it, but I’m already volunteering to help plant trees and clean up a park nearby all morning. Then there’s an 8k on Sunday, but I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. Even though I have done two 10k's before, which I thoroughly enjoyed: The Columbia Crossing/Astoria Bridge Run and also the 10k Midnight Sun Run in Fairbanks, Alaska on summer solstice. You actually do start the race at midnight! Quite an experience. Actually more than the Portland Marathon (which, yes, I am a little hesitant about), I’d rather do the Hood to Coast. It’s the largest relay race in the nation and I’ve only heard good things about it. It sounds like a lot of fun. I’ve been wanting to do for a few years now. I just emailed my uncle and am going to start forming a team. So far I have Michael has joined (he says ihe will if Paul will). Anyone else want to? No joking. I'm serious about this.

Someone hold me accountable! If I’m online go tell me to run! Tomorrow I start training!!

Prayer is so important and so powerful.

5 days and counting until Free Cone day at Ben and Jerry's. It's on Monday the 22nd (Earth Day!). Hmmm.... free ice cream or go to a spanish movie? Such a simple decision! lol Also, Baskin&Robbins has a Free Scoop Night on Wednesday May 1st from 6-9pm. Mark your calendars!

If I was in Portland on a beautiful sunny day like today my mom would force me to skip school. She’d call up my best friend’s mom and plan (without telling us) for Kate and I to go hiking, or to just to lay in the sun, or explore downtown. I miss those days......

One of my new favorite songs from John Mayer:

I never liked this apple much
It always seemed too big to touch
I can't remember how I found
My way before she came around
*
I tell everyone
I smile just because
I've got a city love
I found it in Lydia
And I can't remember life before her name
*
She keeps her toothbrush at my place
As if I had the extra space
She steals my clothes to wear to work
I know -- her hairs are on my shirts
*
I tell everyone
I smiles just because
I've got a city love
I found it in Lydia
And I can't remember life before
The day
She called up and came to me
Covered in rain
*
And dinnertime shadowing
And as her clothes spun, we spooned
And I knew I was through
When I said "I love you"
*
Friday evening, we've been drinking
2 AM, I swear I might propose
But we close the tab
Split a cab
And call each other up when we get home
Falling asleep to the sound of sirens
I've got a city love
I found it in Lydia
*
From the battery
To the gallery
It's the kind of thing you only see
In scented, glossy magazines
*
And I can't remember life before her name

Andrew and Andy tonight at dinner told me that Yellowstone is going to blow up (supposedly it’s the world’s biggest volcano) and that the ring of fire will explode all at once. And because of this we’re all ------, but not me, cuz I’m going to die in India of malaria. And quick we’d better get moving and go to mars. So we walked out...

Boys are so random.

I’m hoping for a short physics lab tonight. But I’m sure I’ll be out of luck like always. It’s the only class that I really resent taking.....I know I know...this makes no sense since I’m a geophysics concentrator...but really. It’s just not fun. And our professor isn’t the greatest this quarter. Last lecture only about 30 people were presents (out of a class of about 100-150) and each day more and more people get up and leave after about 5 minutes. I kinda feel sorry for the guy.

I finally got through to Paul in Greece! :o) A big accomplishment for this afternoon, considering I’ve called at least 20 times with technical difficulties before. It’s so good to hear his voice again, and comforting. I miss him so much.

Phone calls can really brighten up a day. Coming back from New York and listening to two messages I had received was such an uplifting thing.....from two very dear boys, one message from 3 guys who I haven't talked to in months (and have been missing....especially late nights shooting pool), and one who I'd just spent the whole weekend with (who I was also missing). And I appreaciate so much just calls in the middle of the night from my best friends for no reason at all, or calls wishing sweet dreams (thanks for last night M). I think a goal for this week is to start calling friends around the country more consistently and leaving funny messages. ;o) Email and instant messaging, though I love it, sometimes just doesn't compare.

For the past coupla months I’ve been keeping a little “spiritual journal”, recording my thoughts on my faith, what it means in my life, and how I’m trying to walk in faith. I’ve been doing pretty bad keeping it updated. I have so much trouble getting my thoughts down on paper. And finding the time to do so. But the first page reads: “I am hoping that this tiny notebook will be an outlet for my thoughts and feelings, a way to relive stress, organize my ideas, to explore creative expression, and to hold memories. I hope that I will be bold, blunt, honest and noncensored but at the same time I wish this to be my personal spiritual journal. As I study, meditate, pray, and seek the Lord I would like this journal to record my growth spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically—-all ways possible to put on paper–-as a Christian. I’m hoping that with this tiny book I will grow in knowledge of Christ and improve in confidence and encouragement in my Christian life, especially in my outreach to people as a Christian living in a very secular environment”. I don’t really know why I’m putting this up on this webjournal, but I just was writing an entry tonight, and was reflecting back on the past few months and thought that this would be appropriate to post. Maybe I need to be held accountable, maybe someone will reflect on this and start a journal of their own....or maybe I’m just typing to a confused crowd?

My webcounter says 31 but I still haven’t given his url out except to three people, and don’t know if I will to others yet. So if you’re reading this I’m wondering how you got here, what you searched for to find me.

So a little more about my weekend, since everyone keeps asking. It was my little solo vacation. Something that I’d been looking forward to for oh so long, but didn’t really know when I would ever get the change to go. Friday I arrived in New York City around 5pm. Hoping to get a good view out the plane of the city I was completely out of luck--it was so foggy out that even when I was in Manhattan the Empire State Building couldn’t even be spotted. But I was still impressed and completely excited. So we took the bus, and then hopped on the train, to NYU. The weather was cleared up for the rest of the weekend. And so the story goes.....
*Morgan Library
*Barcode
*Blade II
*Central Park
*The Plaza Hotel
*Underpants, based off "The Underpants": a play that was written by Carl Sternheim in Germany in 1911. It's the story of a woman whose underpants fall down in public and how it changes her life. So, Steve Martin adapted it for modern times.
*Battery Park
*Ground Zero
*Gray's Papaya
*Brooklyn Bridge
*TicnTac
Ask me the stories and I will tell you. ;o) It just isn't the same to write them down. They don't hold the magic.

85 degrees today. Almost too hot....people were complaining....how silly is that! The perfect day to wear a short sundress and stroll around on the quads. Classes went. Had lunch with the wonderful Mr. Parker Seybold. I got an extension on my taxes after stressing out for what was way too long. Wished I was napping and chatting in Central Park. New York is still on my mind.....

Listening to John Mayer, over and over and over and over and over

It is finally spring

Let me just start by saying that this weekend was one of the greatest of my life. A bold statement I know. It’s hard to explain why, and I won’t even begin to do so tonight. But these past few days were such a good getaway for me, a much-needed spontaneous, humorous, sad, emotional, relaxing, confetti-smiles filled weekend. And I miss New York City and a certain adventurous, intelligent, and charming gentleman. I will definitely have to return.

On the redline today there were two of the cutest boys in the world. And one was just learning how to tie his shoe. I wish I could remember some of the phrases he said to quote him, but my memory fails as always.

My interview. Hmm. Was it even an interview? Let me explain. 180 W. Washington, downtown. They had given me the wrong address, but it was easy to figure out the mistake since I knew it was on the corner of Washington & Wells. 5th floor. Turns out there were four other people interviewing at the same time. The leader, Dave, was a very enthusiastic guy and we discussed some stuff as a group for a while. Then he took us back one by room for personal interviews for the “few positions they had”. I was first. I talked a bit, and he talked a LOT. He asked me what I thought about the position and I told him that I had a hard time with the whole money issue. I mean, I’m extremely for all of the environmental issues that I would be supporting and petitioning for with Campaign to Save the Environment, but I have a big problem with just demanding money as I go door to door. I’d rather talk to the community and inform them on the issues, not having to work for commission (~$350 a week if I make the set quota of money donations, plus 35% of the donations...so there is the opportunity to make over $5,000). I told Dave this, I mean, that has to be the worst thing you can say in an interview like this right? That I wouldn’t be able to take money (when that is almost the sole purpose of the job). But he spent the next 20 minutes trying to convince me to take the position. I was almost laughing by the time I came out. Did he really want me that bad? I think they’re just putting out desperate pleas for help. I’m still deliberating about working for them, but leaning on the negative.

I advocate WIC.

So get this. Yesterday Deirdre and I had to wait 15 minutes outside of Goodspeed for Sudeep before the SASA dinner and show. He previously had reminded me at least three times of the exact location and time of our gathering, and so it surprised both of us on his late appearance. But he had a humorous, and somewhat ridiculous excuse: Sudeep received tea. A new flavor, but the tin is only half full. Sad and extremely disappointed he decides to write the company proclaiming his dissatisfaction, signing the letter “Jenni Schultz... Jenni with an i” because he feels that they will be more sympathetic to a “blonde, tall, Minnesotan girl with perky breasts”. lol.

I just spent six hours writing a 250 word essay on the Alonso Cuarón, the director of Y Tú Mamá También. 2am, going down to print out my essay, I run into Sudeep where he starts laughing while remembering last Wednesday when I mistakenly skipped Bible study to go to a “porn movie”. I’m glad I can cheer him up so easily, but it’s still a day I would rather forget. Helping Sudeep with his laundry I take his now-pink underwear out of the dryer and hand them over for him to carry up to the 6th floor. Lesson learned: do not mix dark maroon never-been-washed socks with whites. ;o)

Tomorrow is my interview downtown with Campaign to Save the Environment. Hmmmm. I’m starting to get less and less enthusiastic about this summer job. We’ll see how it goes.

Passed along to me in IM this evening: They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. Send this phrase to the people you'll never forget and remember to send it also to the person who sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them.

My todo list this week includes:
*Find a picture for my passport
*Do the paperwork to actually obtain my first passport
*File my taxes!
*Turn in a travel deposit to go to Iceland in September
*Pack minimally for my first excursion to New York
*Pickup God, the Big Bang, and Stephen Hawking at the Reg
*Master all the horribly boring physical concepts in chapters 17 and 18 of my physics textbook (and actually pass the first quiz)
*Write and mail at least three handwritten letters to friends
*Update my two sites I'm in charge of: GeoUnion and The Native American Student's Association
*Memorize at least 10 spanish verbs in the preterite, imperfect and present (for me, this is harder than you would think)

This is really too addicting. I have a huge spanish essay I haven’t even started researching for and I just keep thinking of more stuff that I really want to write in my weblog.

So I wonder if I’m actually gonna let people read this thing. I don’t know. I keep writing as if there is a wide crowd of peers reviewing this, but presently only three people know about it. And I refuse to let anyone link to this site, until..... I don’t know when. ?

Oh, by the way. fyi. Do not see Y Tú Mamá También unless you feel like you have the urge to watch an (I feel silly mentioning this but, well, I must admit it was well made and the acting was pretty good) [almost]-porn movie. I fell into the trap of going to this sneak previous on campus at our Doc theatre, unknowing of the content. It was free, the poster looked cool, no one I knew was going to RocknBowl, so I went. Ruthie warned me slightly, but I was not expecting a NC-17 movie. The only reason I stayed was to have a writeup for spanish lector session on Thursday. Also, ironically, for this spanish essay I should be presently writing, I need to be writing about the director Alonso Cuarón.

So, on a totally different note, I have no idea how to file taxes, or even which form to fill out but I’m assuming it’s the 1040ez because that just sounds familiar. It’s my first time doing them, and no one here at school seems to be any help. I keep asking people and they keep telling me their parents do them for them. Hmmm. That is not an option for me. I don’t know how this works, but somehow my parents get lots of extensions and they don’t even have their taxes done until the following year. I have a feeling that if I called my dad right now he would be doing the previous years. So I’m stuck. And Niteline is gone (which really really sucks) so I can’t even call them and ask for help or reference.

Roses in my room smell so wonderful. :o)

I just got back from the Esquire on Oak Street downtown. Watched Monsoon Wedding with Sharon and Erin. It was fabulous. And I definitely wouldn’t mind seeing it again. I cried a lot, both out of happiness and anger. Stepping out of the theatre all three of us just couldn’t stop talking about it. The colorfulness of everything, the music, the dancing, the flowers, the traditions portrayed. We were all "gushing" as you might say. After seeing this movie you just can't help wanting a fantastic traditional indian wedding. Or at least a wedding with all of the excitement (but not drama) like this one. And of course, there is the strange fascination to chew on a marigold the next time you see one.

There's a soft rain today. Slightly overcast. Just my type of weather! :o) It's a lovely Sunday.

One of my favorite worship songs:
My Jesus, My Savior
Lord there is none like You.
All of my days, I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty love
My comfort , my shelter,
Tower of refuge and strength
Let every breath, all that I am
Never cease to worship You.

Shout to the Lord, all the earth let us sing,
Power and majesty, praise to the king
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name.

I sing for joy at the work of Your hands
Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You.
(Words and Music By: Darlene Zschech)

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same. --Author Unknown

Wearing a wool skirt does not compliment the joy of dancing to bhangra music for an hour and a half, as I did tonight. I will keep this in mind when I frequent the danceclubs in Mumbai next winter quarter. Sweaty and with south asian rhythms floating around in my head I walked back to the dorm alone to the beat of the songs. It was a fun night--the SASA (South Asian Student's Association) Cultural show was excellent (it sold out in Mandel hall), I enjoyed hanging out with Sudeep and Dierdre, the after-party in Hutch was upbeat and cheery, but the night still made me slighty depressed. There were so many things that should have made the night a blast: the mood, the music (lots of Bhangra, with the djs sometimes mixin in Michael Jackson and Rap and Hiphop at the same time), the dancing, the place, but something was lacking--the right people. This seems to be a recurring theme in my short-lived weblog, but it's something that I've noticed more and more--especially this quarter. I just don't feel close with many people at this school, and it's hard to find a peer to go have fun with. I think of my close friends here--half are getting drunk and a stupid frat party, and the other half?--they wouldn't come out dancing if I paid them, they're probably reading at the new 24hour space at the Reg (library). At home, I can call someone up and do something any second of any day, and feel comfortable telling many of my deepest thoughts to a handful of people. Drive for half an hour and then hike up to the top of Multnomah falls illegally in the dark? Two phone calls, five minutes later, and we're on our way. Shoot some pool at 122? Call up Tam, Rithya, Brian and we're there at 2am. I get the urge to go camping at the beach...tonight. A few hours later 6 of us have two cars packed and we're out the door. Three days later we're still at the beach and 8 other friends have come to join us. Feeling like I need a change? Ok, time to buy a ticket to Seattle and I'm off kickin it with Mark, Sonca, Jeremi and friends for a few days... and maybe even a short spontaneous excursion to a club in Canada. My power goes out and I sit at home with candles at 3am? The boys decide to stop by and make me laugh. Anthony, Jordan, Jared and I staying up playing cards every summer night until the early hours of the morning, watching the sun come up with Kate on Nicole's roof, throwing a huge summer party, going to Pied Cow, playing the headlight game and making Nicole strip down to almost nothing on the way to Mediation training, walking around on Mt. Tabor, going to the Rhododendron gardens with Jordan, spending time with Henry, Juanita, Kisha, and baby Makayla, walking around on Hawthorne and all over SE Portland and just bumping into people that I've know since childhood, there is so much that I miss back home that just isn't here. I feel like my days are too short, that in any one day if I haven't talked to at least five good friends, that something is missing, that I have been to selfish with my time. But here, on the other hand, I feel that there's only a handful of people at this university that I truly care about, who are good friends, and even then I don't spend much time with them. I see this as one of the biggest problems I have. And is this all my fault? Is there something wrong with me? I don't think so. I feel that I haven't changed all that much (or have I?). Am I just apathetic? Unfriendly? Unapproachable? Mean? I hope not. It seems in the past I've been a magnet for people. I've never had trouble making friends. The only thing I've ever had trouble with is finding the time to keep in contact with the hundreds of people that I've wanted to--and I always feel bad about that. I guess there's just a different dynamic to this scholarly university, and one that I don't exactly apprechiate quite as much as other people. But I guess I should just suck it up, I knew from the beginning that coming to the University of Chicago I was not coming to a party school. This school is just not social. Not at all. And it almost makes me cry because I feel like I have barely any true friends here. This has never happened in my entire life. Everything is so different. It's been almost two years now, I thought I would adjust, but I guess I haven't. Without friends I feel like a huge part of me is missing, that people at this school don't really know the real me. That even Paul doesn't know the whole "real me". And maybe it's silly to think that coming here would be anything similar to how my life has been thus far with friendships and such a strong network and community around me. So I dance by myself.

This makes soooo much more sense now. Parker did a little more research and found out the true meaning of the Yatta video. See this entry for more details. It's similar to a SNL skit that anything else.

So I recieved an email titled "Yatta! Yatta! Yatta! It's so ea-sy!" from Will. A little odd I might say. Clicking on the link in the text I came to the most horrible (and I must admit only) Japanese music video I've ever seen: Yatta!. Scary scary scary. And then, researching more, I found this guy at MIT has a page about the lyrics, and a link to a flash video of the same song, which is also very odd: Flash Video. The end frame is posted with a warning: "continued use may result in limb loss". These guys are crazy.

Ok. Attempting again to post my thoughts. This is harder than I thought it would be. Mostely because of stupid computers.

So InterVarsity Christian Fellowship was great tonight. I attend each Friday night and tonight we had this great speaker, the senior pastor from Convenant Presbyterian Church. He spoke about "True Worship" and what it really means to worship God in all that we do and why it's meaningful. Every day, focusing on sincere worship. This is something I need to work on. He's definitely been one of the best speakers this year, and I'm excited for the upcoming speakers this quarter. I have heard good things about them all.

And, another excellent thing about tonight: I got great hugs from Parker, which I can never get enough of. :o)

I had a nice talk with Trish this evening. Ranging in topics, but mostly concentrating about the University and how we have changed and also how the environment around us has changed. Too much to type here, but it was really nice to express joys and concerns about personal issues. We connected on a few things which was pretty cool considering I don't feel very close to many people here in my house (for those of you who don't know my "house" is the 5th and 6th floors of Pierce Tower [Dorm]. Every two floors is considered a "house" with a lounge/kitchen in the middle. At full occupancy each house in Pierce has about 60 people). The house dynamics this year are just so different from last year. I don't feel comfortable talking to many people and there just doesn't seem to be the same community and friendship that was present last year. I've now definitely become much more reculsive and it's starting to bother me.

This sucks. I just wrote a BUNCH of stuff to post and blogger redirected my page saying that there was an error. I am becoming easily discourage with this weblog. No good.

I have just mailed off a pentagon-shaped package with Britney Spears mysteriously stickered on at one end. Talked to some hippies, who happily took my contact information just before they packed up their giant Earth ball, pulled their hats over their purple and dreaded hair and left in their jeep. Is this a good thing? They were happy to call me an "activist" in Chicago. Yes, you may start laughing now. But you knew this would happen all along... the girl who was voted as most likely to win a Nobel Peace Prize.

I would like to know: it's SPRING quarter. Why is it snowing?

After much encouragement by Ruthie, and keeping track of Paul's lovely adventures through his site this past week I've decided to start a webjournal. Although I absolutely love writing letters and keeping in touch, I'm not so sure how this little weblog will end up. It just seems too impersonal and too open for me. I'm very self-concious of my writing, so much so that I never have anyone proof-read my essays (probably not the best idea), I have never kept journals for over a week because I'm always afraid people will read them, and I get very intimidated of other more spectacular writers. But I'll give this little venture a try for a bit. :o) And hopefully it won't turn out to be half-bad. Tell me what you think.